barometer

while walking with fine line between what is and what isn't most of us tend to stop, pick a side and stick. 

some of us don't. 

because I'm aware that it can be daunting. 

and little girl, while you are dangerously tip-toeing past the rest of 'em, you should have noticed that i have learned to hover.

.........jealous? 

jawsome.

@(#*%$##!@^!

11am tomorrow

ooooooooooh! every thing depends on one math test?!? well why didn't you say so? 

shit.

shit.

shit.

shit. 

shit. 

it was in the back of a taxi

i was very pensive while washing blenders today for the following reasons: 

one: am i or am i not going to be fired? 

two: i haven't shed a tear in six months. 

three: i wondered if the screaming child whose distracted mother ordered her a 24oz banana berry would ever stop. and why she even started in the first place. 

four: where i would be in exactly a year from now. 

five: where i would be in exactly ten years from now. 

six: how concerned i was about voicing it even though its been there for so long. 

seven: if it would change it.

eight: how i got a lump in my throat when i had to remake a smoothie. 

nine: how happy i am to see kitten happy. 

ten: how badly i want to go to college. 

eleven: the pain in my dad eyes following this weeks events. 

twelve: how badly i want school to start.

and finally

thirteen: the drumroll freaks me out. 

the square root of real= fake

here's my beef with math once and for all: 

if people would except it as an art form math and i would be best friends. hands down. no questions asked. 

but alas. it is supposedly the most logical and real thing in the world. numbers and calculations surround who we are and who we're meant to be. [apparently] 

a calculated indefinite possibility.

isn't that a bit messed up?

the funniest part of it all is the way we are suppose to learn it, the answer is not suppose to be the solution. its the process. 

so this whole absolute solution doesn't even apply. 

and does it ever? 

I keep thinking back to when i asked when this "real world" that everyone seems to talk about begins or ends. 

shall i draw up an equation?

five measures

on the tip of my tongue. 

and there is shall stay. 

oooooh how its much better that way. 

I feel like the only really sane one again. [yay!] 

I'll admit that i am in fact looking forward to school. and not because ... "the sooner it starts, the sooner it will end"

 

its now become.....

"the sooner is starts, the sooner it begins." 

ain't the way you found me

you know what's my favorite part? 

how when I am this happy I am THIS happy. 

 and I only worry for the fraction of a second.