anymore

I decided I'm going to chop off all my hair when I get home. I'm sick of being defined by my hair. "the girl with the curly hair"

can't I just be "the girl" ?


Only twelve more days in this 10' x 14' room but I must say its grown on me lately.
I'll miss sharing this tiny bed with you.

Picasso took a shit.

My Art History professor said something that made me want to walk up to the podium in front of Picasso's Les Demoiselles D'Avignon and give him a huge hug.
We were discussing abstract art and the way it makes us feel.
Well rather, HE was discussing abstract art and the way it makes HIM feel. in a lecture class of one hundred its hard to have a discussion.

"Is everyone still awake? is anyone still paying attention?" he said as he peered menacingly over his little round glasses as the girl next to me doodled in her notebook.
He cleared his throat and sighed.
"You know what the most abstract work of art is? Its love."
"Dude. Greer. that isn't Art" said the bro sitting behind me.
"Oh but it is! it is the most subjective, indescribable, elusive, glorious thing we search for our whole lives. Every time you think you've found it, it is in some other form, its changed, grown with you."
Before I even realized I was saying it I said, "And how does it last?"
"The same way this Picasso lasts through time. People keep reexamining it and figuring out what it means to them all over again."

Happiness is...

I feel the most myself I've felt in a long time.

Everything feels like a calm melody.
[WHICH IS A REALLY STUPID METAPHOR THAT I APOLOGIZE FOR BUT ITS TRUE]

Sometimes when I'm with certain people I just feel like yelling with joy because I'm just too happy.

I sat on the edge of my bed and he wouldn't leave because we just kept finding ourselves intertwined.

happiness is wanting to scream with joy.

[I'm a soft, gross, girl who is enjoying being in a relationship for the very first time.]

VALIDATION

VALIDATION.
VALIDATION.
VALIDATION.

"Just so you know, if I had been behind the table for that first audition things would have been very different for you"

VALIDATION.
VALIDATION.
VALIDATION.

cinnamon toast crunch while piecing it together.

allow me to start off by saying:
I SHOULD BE AUDITIONING FOR ACTING II RIGHT NOW.

well. now that I've gotten that out of my system....

smoothies are deadly. stuff happens when you drink smoothies. sometimes you say things you probably shouldn't say and you wake up in the morning and wonder if you actually said them.

[don't remember you walking out the door]
what I do remember is all of the night. except for like the last ten minutes.

oy vey.

I'm p-paralyzed with happiness

where are the words?

choco tacos.

I have so much to do.
but all I want to do is hang out with the kleggs and the boy I like.
A few weeks before moving here I thought, "Yeah, I'm not going to let myself be distracted. not as much as high school."

Why did I ever think that?

its more distracting here.
and only twenty nine more days.
its going to feel like leaving camp.
except harder.

when did I become this happy?

planning how we won't fight.
and liking when you called me your girlfriend.
barf?
usually.
but not this time....
not yet.

NEXT YEAR

i am going to buy a blank shirt and paint,
"THIS IS GOING TO BE MY YEAR"
on it.

because
its going to be

green crying

the only thing I ever get this emotional about is acting.


which proves to me how much I need this.