I woke up feeling awesome and happy about everything and throughout the day I got more and more down in the dumps.  Maybe I get like this when things end. But its never been like this.

I'm moving out of my shitty apartment in over a week and I have no idea where I'm going to move all my stuff to, because I don't have a place.

 Every time I clean something it gets dirty again. 

And the worst part is I'm still upset over this job I didn't get months ago. Why am I still so upset about it? He says I'm upset because I would have been good at it and because I pictured myself there. I just want an adventure I just want to do something with myself this summer other than sit behind that cramped desk at the spa and answer phones. I want to do something fulfilling. Everyone around me planned ahead and now I'm stuck with one option and I can't help up sit on my computer looking at pictures of the people going to paradise instead of me. 

But this isn't the me I like. I shouldn't sit and pout about not getting that job, I'm not going to get thousands of jobs in my lifetime. I just need to get out of this filthy shit hole that shallows me up every time I come home.