Hi my name is Sarah and I'm playing the part of the girl that is fine.

I cannot rationalize people who have no regard for other peoples feelings. 
I'm sick of everyone saying, "Its acting, its professional, its a play." 

I always regard peoples feelings and make sure everyone is comfortable with things. Because to me acting just too real to disregard someone elses feelings. 

Its fucking rude is what it is. 

So congrats to you, I'm so glad THIS is the first time you're going to act on impulse but to be it seems completely manipulative and rude. 


A sad part of the story is that I could not normalize my emotions until I had a glass of wine. With that glass of wine and another and another and another and another, I began to swallow everything I wanted to say. 

But its like we were talking about last night before the party. I can't say what I really want to say in front on so many people. 

I wish I could cry and curl up on the stairs without people looking at me like I'm insane. Like I'm in the wrong. 
I just want my emotions to be validated and not ignored. 

easily one of the worst things ever is waking up in the morning extremely hungover knowing you said things last night you shouldn't have said and don't even really mean but when you're mad you say things just to say them because you just want to feel something. 

yeah. 
worst feeling ever.

SO AM I JUST SUPPOSE TO BE MAD ALL TERM OR SOMETHING?

BECAUSE I WILL BE IF PEOPLE KEEP BEING STUPID.

how do you watch someone disappear from far way?

how do you watch someone disappear from far way? 
the person who has listened, has loved, has experienced a full life. 
slowly her body that use to do the splits on the front lawn of the same house she raised six children, the body that gave birth to those children and loved, and fed and took care of so many others withers away.
her mind that opened my mind to the beauty of simplicity, the amount people deserve to be loved and a fondness of artichokes begins to slip away, the memories of every moment floating around her head like a big cumulonimbus cloud waiting for her to reach, and draw them back in. 
She tries to reach higher, to cling longer but her body says no even though she can feel so much love. 

hold on. 
Just a little longer. 
please. 

I love being alone. 

however, 
there is nothing worse than sitting alone on a Thursday night while everyone else is off making art.