list.

maybe I haven't been writing because I don't know how to say the things I need to say anymore.

perhaps a honest list?


one. I open my first show here in five days.
two. I have now beat my longest relationship, [THANK GOODNESS a particular gentleman doesn't hold that anymore.] It's been 8 months.It was also sad not waking up with you this morning. I hope I'm not losing myself.
three. I am genuinely friends with someone I've wanted to be friends with for a year. Friends. just friends.
four. The bump in my neck as been aching as if to say, "Hey, I'm still here."
five. The addition of mind numbing headaches has been a blast. Headaches that happen at night that make me feel as though my brain will explode when I sleep.
six. they dyed my hair for the show but thankfully not blond. Its weird to think they spent part of the budget exclusively on me.
seven. I am happy. but, confused?

My neighbor is loudly talking to either a friend or a conquest and I can hear every word he is saying through the thin wall. talk about Saturday morning entertainment.

I am a zombie these days. I am so happy but distracted by the fact my body doesn't feel the same way.

Tech today.