Tomorrow I'm twenty.
Twenty years seems like such a large amount of time.
This weekend I opened my first show here, with [nearly] rave reviews. I feel good about here.
But this weekend also reminded me of the bulltshit going on at home. This weekend it became even more clear than it has been in years that my parents should not be together. Its shocking to me that I know this for a fact and yet they remain chained, and miserable. I'm twenty. I'm not suppose to know something is over before grown adults do.
Here I am, in the my first real, legitimate relationship having my parents tell me that he doesn't seem like "a great love of my life." WELL OBVIOUSLY. its college.
Were they ever like this?
is this just happens when you're an adult? You do things because you feel obligated to stay even if you're miserable?
it doesn't seem logical.
I feel young and wise.
But I also feel old and foolish.
A couple that I actually learned to believe in broke up. After three years. It is true when they say people grow apart and accepting that is the best thing you can ever do.
I've found myself oh so honest these days.
In my quest to not be needy I find myself needing him.
and for the first time in nearly 13 years the last thing I want to do is eat midnight pancakes.
but I'm happy? Happy birthday to me.
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