Wouldn't it be funny if that was true?

its all so...messy.
a reminder of why for the past four months I have attempted [without succeeding of course] to stay out of it.
You'd think after four years I would have learned by now.
but then again, this is not something that is taught.

heres the kicker: I like the mess. I miss the mess.

[I mainly just need a prom date. and perhaps someone who doesn't make a mess]
[Wouldn't it be funny if that was true?]

scared shitless. but SO excited.

a tribute to the babies:

I'm aching. but its odd. While I am overwhelmed with the inevitable end and the short months we have left together somehow I can't help but be so excited. for everyone. these people, my teachers for four years all get to stand on their own two feet next year. I do too.
I cried for the first time at the end of a show last night.
It wasn't what I expected it to be. none of it was. I would be lying if I said that I didn't wish I could have had that feeling. at least once. but I'll have it. at some point.
[note to self, be aware that your expectations are usually incorrect.] as I stood in the audience as everyone warmed up with that song and I looked at each person who had made such an impact on my education and more importantly my life the tears were uncontrollable.
I'm happy to begin next year without expectations.

I just wish you were all there...

can't even take MYSELF seriously.

crush. well, this is awkward and new.

blue french horn dash.

took an evening nap that went a bit too long. and now I'm wide awake. I realized how much I'm going to want this all back. Saturday is going to be here. soon.

this will happen at some point.

deeply unhip.

"you can try to take a picture, but its already gone."

that is the ringing in my ears.
its far less triumphant than I imagined, there is less fanfare. but it still feels worth it. somehow.
everyone and their brother is having relationship woes right now.
the line between the inner workings of the male and female mind is far thinner than most people could imagine.
__________________________
___________
____
_

√

checking things off the list feels so efficient.


okay with it √
last opening night with these ridiculously talented people √
battle wounds √
wanting something strange √
some laughs √
no tears √