finally a Morrocco.

I would be willing to bet an enormous chunk of my life savings [if not all of it] that the person who said the following words to me doesn't

1.remember me
2. remember saying these words.

"its a funny thing: when its finally your turn it doesn't feel like your turn anymore."


Tomorrow is my last day here.
Last night after I got back from my run, I walked into my room and stared at the large wooden cabinet. Over the years I've hidden artifacts from my childhood in there, covering it with a decorative sheet for good measure so I didn't have to look at the mess it held.
I figured for a laugh I would look at some of the things I stuffed in there, old journals mainly.
As I read the pages of my fourteen year old self wishing I could be eighteen and be leaving the house and my idealized versions about what college would be like, I sat and marveled at the fact that while there had been so many distractions and choices that I made that perhaps weren't the best, I really stuck to what I wanted to do.
The thing I found most interesting was a notebook I began when I was about seven. it was, for lack of a better definition, a bucket list. Not just a little list either, this was a notebook with pages and pages of things that I had been checking off since I was seven and by the looks of the boxes I had left unchecked, I had abandoned somewhere around the age of fifteen. So, I picked up a pen and began to check. It was satisfying looking at everything I had accomplished,[especially more recent developments].
As I stuffed the old book back in my cabinet and looked around my room full of boxes those words spoken by that person rung loudly in my head. To be quite honest, I couldn't tell you what the person who said those words looked like if you paid me the same chunk of cash I wagered earlier but I think that's what I like most about the whole thing.
Certain people have moments of poignancy that are meant to just enjoy while you remember them. I feel like I need to remind myself that sometimes you meet people and they only stick around for what feels like a split second, but maybe that's all you needed them for. Maybe its better that way.

I may have said that I was ready to leave for years, but now that its finally my turn, it doesn't feel like my "turn" anymore. it just feels like its time.