exoskeleton.

I've had a short string of eye-opening conversations in the past couple of days.
the first was less about the conversation and more about the feeling I had while having it. just laughing again mostly that made me feel this way. [does anyone remember laughter? because I kinda didn't] Meeting someone that seems like they were in your life all along. The possibility of feeling again. Shocking right? I'm floored.
the second was the more eye-opening.
Despite my confidence I did not get what I wanted this week. I'm not destroyed. I'm actually okay. but really. If I were destroyed, I wouldn't be able to do this for the rest of my life.
My conversation made me realize how much I care about acting. I mean, I knew I did, but to this degree? My revelation came as I was recounting this to a friend. Remember the whole "dangerously human" thing? and how I said I wasn't? I realized that I feel more danerously human when I act than I do on a regular basis.
that thought is frightening, but true nonetheless.
Most likely the roots of this feeling came from the past year when I made the decision to feel nothing at all. Getting those feelings back is harder than I thought it would be.
this brings me back to conversation number one. and the series of conversation since...

human?
...human.