but then again,

its all the same.

a sunday kind of....

Buster Baer: dude sarah ready?
Buster Baer: bunny
sarahisraaad09: bunny
Buster Baer: bunny
sarahisraaad09: bunny bunny
Buster Baer: bunny
sarahisraaad09: bunny
Buster Baer: bunny bunny
sarahisraaad09: bunny bunny bunny
Buster Baer: bunny bunny
sarahisraaad09: bunny
Buster Baer: bunny
sarahisraaad09: bunny bunny
Buster Baer: bunny bunny bunny
sarahisraaad09: bunny bunny bunny bunny
Buster Baer: bunny bunny bunny
sarahisraaad09: bunny bunny
Buster Baer: bunny
sarahisraaad09: bunny
Buster Baer: bunny bunny
sarahisraaad09: bunny bunny bunny
Buster Baer: bunny bunny bunny bunny
sarahisraaad09: bunny bunny bunny bunny bunny
Buster Baer: bunny bunny bunny bunny
sarahisraaad09: bunny bunny bunny
Buster Baer: bunny bunny
sarahisraaad09: bunny
Buster Baer: YAY!!!!!!!!
Buster Baer: wow were lame hahah
sarahisraaad09: agreed.

a thousand dollars and one car ride later:

thank you for learning all that music.
thank you for making sure I got things done.
thank you all of caring.
thank you for being my bed.


but more importantly, I wish I hadn't been reminded on this particular night of "the glory year" we were suppose to have.
at the same time, its good that I was.
thank you for the blanket and for finishing my sentences. all the time.
La mancherò la maggior parte di tutto.

Sometimes I stay up so late that I have my morning coffee before I go to bed.

as soon as this day is over, I have made the executive decision to sleep for a thousand years.


deal?
deal.

κουνέλι ή πάπια?

and through the craziest week so far this year, the two things in the back of my head are the two things I can't be distracted with.

both are rabbits.
I thought one of them was a duck. but it turns out, not so much.

I just want to visit both of them, but I so know which one is my rabbit. its obvious.

You could be my rabbit too. we could be rabbits together.
but man oh man, SO many ducks.

εάν επρόκειτο να με ρωτήσετε πάλι, εγώ η απάντηση, εσείς θα ήθελε να έρθει

και λυπάμαι.

the armchair thing.

If I pull it off its going to rule. it'll be a small victory in the "you'll see, they'll all see" category. what I just can't seem to shake is how twisted everything is.

here's the thing i love about hopper: he paints the moment before, the drum roll. whether or not its the drum roll before something substantial or not, it is significant.
perhaps some are a drum rolls in reverse.

too many of my relationships are drum rolls.

C'est véritablement utile puisque c'est joli.

"What are you doing here," he asked the drunkard...

"Drinking," replied the drunkard, with a gloomy expression.

"Why are you drinking?" the little prince asked.

"To forget," replied the drunkard.

"To forget what?" inquired the little prince, who was already feeling sorry for him.

"To forget that I'm ashamed," confessed the drunkard, hanging his head.

"What are you ashamed of?" inquired the little prince, who wanted to help.

"Of drinking!" concluded the drunkard...

I've got to admit it's getting better,

A little better all the time. I suppose I am a bad guy for understanding the motives behind it. but I'm not the only one who gets it. as always, we see eye to eye. okay, let me get my microscope. its worth it.
It sounded like hail last night. I know it wasn't but I wanted it to be.eighty more days. and I'm wanted somewhere else. I mean, REALLY wanted. how is it possible to feel important one place and feel like nothing somewhere else?

wait, I can't hear you, will you say that again?

bullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshit
bullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshit
bullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshit
bullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshit
bullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshit
bullshitbullshitbullshitfouryearsofbullshitbullshitbullshit
bullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshit
bullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshit
bullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshit
bullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshit

the battle of verdun

but see, the thing is, there's nothing to mend.
like it or not, I make decisions.
This is why I'm over right now. because of the fact that "you are Switzerland" but would choose her in a second.
I'm being lame and vague, and i normally hate that but how the hell am I suppose to actually say anything?
Last night was breathing in clean air, even though the air was full of clouds of smoke. its all the same when it boils right down to it. but it isn't because the bullshitters are learning how to be honest with themselves and the honest people are really the bullshitters. I seem to balance on the line between being a bullshitter and someone is too honest.
I got over watching someone lose themselves in another person a loooooong time ago.
so now what? you set up camp on the other side of a battle I could care less about?
probably.

liberate the canaries

I'm going to stay in bed all day. Its necessary.
Last night was not pathetic, it ruled. except for the part when you were bumming hardcore.
I suppose that my obsession with almost famous has become a bit much. but its just because I relate.
You know, I only talked back yesterday because I think the silence is stupid. and I think you two are both freaked because now I'm not going to be the mediator next year. sucks.
here is an overdue apology to more than one person: I don't know why I do the things I do sometimes. Perhaps my moves seem calculated but they aren't. I just know people, and for my own entertainment I test the boundaries. which would explain the trail of wreckage I seem to leave in my wake. maybe I do it so I know how to pretend to feel something. maybe its a selfish ploy to further my acting training. whatever that bullshit reason is I apologize to at least three people. possibly four. possibly five.
I think its time to grow up a little bit, go downstairs, and make pancakes.

speaking of the world, I'm going to live in Morocco for one year.

say what you will but I don't only dislike this day for the same stupid reasons everyone else does. I mean, seriously, either way I'm being typical. come on. lets be creative. its funny because the first valentines day I actually disliked was the only one I actually had someone for. it was the first time I realized that I was in a relationship merely for show. after countless car rides filling the silence with personal anecdotes I told him that red roses were my least favorite. they were uncreative. months later it was valentines day. and there were red roses.
contrary to popular belief I am a old softy. and maybe thats the root of all of this.
and the truth of the matter is, perhaps I just envy Lady Goodman.

for whom it may concern: daffodils

If I could write backwards I definitely would. I kept my on personal tally of how many times I muttered the words "I don't care" today. thirty-one. that is about twenty-nine too many. Its stupid that I don't care. I should. but I don't. apathy. at its finest. how big of a hypocrite am I? huge.
its just getting more difficult to care about people. people. the one thing I always did care about. forget all the bullshit. people.

"I don't regret the kingdoms - what sense in borders and nations and patriotism? But I miss the kings."

the one entertaining notion as of now is all the signs pointing to what I avoid. what I didn't use to avoid.
but somehow...
I keep telling myself I have it to look forward to.
I'm just looking too forward.

batman and ....

luke..... i am your father.

two down. woo. getting way too cool for school. the less I'm there the better. only one hour of my day means something. naps on naps. all day everyday.
dude. dubb is taking over your life. its lame. the kid is worried.
speaking of the kid, you're totally my bro. thank you. don't be worried about me leavin next year. you'll find another side kick. even though technically you are MY side kick.

freaaksss on freaaaaakssssss

freaks on freaks. I never realized how lucky we were to not have scary kids like that.
a bunch would ask what I was doing and where I wanted to go but I could almost tell that they were only asking to hear themselves talk.
it feels good to be done. and now all I have to do is wait.
wooo wooooooo!
haaa. that one kid, with the hairspray=classic.

bad hobby or best hobby EVER?

Admitting it is the first step.
check.
of course during the third day of my brand new english class i admit my favorite thing to observe: high school couples.
come on. they rule. the girl is ALWAYS upset about something and the guy is ALWAYS trying to tune her out or trying to make sure he doesn't say anything wrong. its the highlight of my day.
sooooo, maybe I do write down funny quotes a hand full of them say to each other as I eavesdrop in the hall. we all need a hobby. mine just happens to be kinda creepy but in the most awesome way.

i wasn't completely honest. I did have quotes in my book. I just was too scared to read them to the class. they have to earn that.

but here are some gems:

Girl: "So what exactly DID you mean by that text yesterday? Do you see how that could have been taken two ways?"
Boy: "Yeah...kinda..."
Girl: "But you had no problem going along with it."

Girl: "Whatever. Your mom already thinks I'm a slut anyway."

Boy: "Baby, come on..."
Girl: "No. its raining, my hair is wet and I have to go back to ceramics. I NEED to glaze."

Boy: "but you're wearing a jacket..."
Girl: "I know...but i want to be able to smell you during class."
Boy: "fine... but it has been in my locker for awhile..."

[hugging each other blocking the stairs at 2nd period]
Girl: "Wait for me here after okay?"
Boy: "Okay." [stops hugging and starts to go]
Girl: [grabs hand] "...text me okay?"
Boy: "Okay." [gets out phone and starts texting]

[maybe it wasn't to her but i laughed.]

vs. mob

alright, so you're stuck on an island. who wouldn't you want to be stuck there with?
everyone.

completely backwards.
more like four steps forward twenty-seven giant leaps back.
always fancied myself someone who could deal. just, deal in general. but it seems to be impossible right now. its not just my jaw anymore.

137 tiles.

crazy how something i use to absolutely love doing morphed into something equivalent to counting ceiling tiles.
very prepared to stop counting. if someone would like to make me stop counting.