aMAziNG

AMAZING is one of the most overrated, overused adjectives in the english language. and i hate it.

one of the best things about finishing with high school in TEN DAYS is that I never have to go to one of those awful things again. the whole ritual of it all is not fun enough to justify the night itself. I always seem to have a rather naive expectation. heres a hint, a hint that I've told myself hundreds of times but never really hear: the expectations are never going to be the reality. and yes this is a stupid stubborn point of view but from where I sit, its the only logical point of view to take.

last night was just the reality check. listening to people talk for each other. "well WE like this." "WE feel this way" is this how its going to be when I'm a late twenty something and I'm still alone?

I have got to allow myself feel something again.
[other note to self: you are a hypocrite.]