CUNT

and so I finished 'Cunt' by Inga Muscio.
I must say it achieved what I thought it would. Between Cunt and The Vagina Monologues I am actually appreciating being female lately.
but its funny because I still can't type, "being a woman" without laughing at myself. Maybe its because I don't consider myself a "woman" yet. and not like, "oh sarah is a man" just as in I feel like a woman has a pants suit or a child, or is living on her own, not supported in anyway by her parents. Which makes me somewhere in between.
I have also realized I don't carry myself like a female. I'm not a feminine person. it isn't a bad thing necessarily, its really just who I am.
because of this I don't realize until the last second that I may be torturing someone. I always assume that I'm 'the best friend' because well, to the guys I'm attracted to I am. But I always seem to forget that works in the opposite way.
I had an awful night last night, way later in the night. and an even more awful morning. I got what I needed and still feel rather....
well.
just, well.