yes and...

first of all, why am I awake? its seven am.

Yesterday I spent most of the day in the library attempting to find meaning in my research paper. The funny thing is, if it wasn't in stupid MLA format and you know...in RESEARCH form I could write about my topic for days. I know its a requirement, but in all honesty, it doesn't do anything for me academically. Plus, I wasn't taught how to write an effective research paper....ever.
You know, high school didn't teach me anything. Literally. nothing. I know that I've ranted about this before but really, looking at it now, THATS A PROBLEM. perhaps it was my fault. My focus was always social. it was always on getting cast [which it probably shouldn't have been because that turned out to be a joke too.]
Seriously though. the way education is going is down, down a bad bad bad BAD dark hole.
Apparently, as early as elementary school, they have teachers reading scripts out of books to teach Math and English. I mean, SERIOUSLY? that is creating a system of children growing up resenting education BECAUSE IT PUTS THEM TO SLEEP.
If I were to count the number of truly inspiring teachers who have shaped me as a person from elementary school, middle school, AND high school, I do believe the number would be four.
FOUR.
My research topic is how improv, specifically the teachings of Viola Spolin shape human behavior and should be utilized by everyone, not just actors.
Improv has taught me everything about myself. Because of improv I am becoming the kind of actor I want to be and because of improv I am becoming the person I want to be. I wish I could just write an eight page love letter to improv rather than finding evidence and all that bull. evidence dehumanizes what I really want to say about improv.

I felt this overwhelming urge to stand up and scream in the silent busy library. Right in time I got a text from a friend using the mainstage to rehearse his pieces for auditions.
Whenever I enter a theatre, I always take a deep breath, as if to smell the theatre, swallow it whole. Strange I know. Its just a habit I've never been able to shake, nor do I want to. Its comforting.
He and another actor were there already working on pieces.
I wasn't even going to do my monologues. I just needed to get out of the silence and hear people talk, watch people create. But I stood on the stage and did my pieces, the same spot I would be standing in two days. They both gave me very helpful notes. An outsiders prospective is always helpful. They were both good. I mean, really good. Older, had already taken class here and I appreciated them listening to me.
The other actor left to write a paper [probably in STUPID MLA format] but the other asked me to hang back. I got all freaked out. Didn't know why or what he was going to say. We sat on the stage and he said, "so how come I didn't know you were such a great actor?"
"uh, what?"
"I envy how natural you are"
"um. well, thanks" I didn't know what to say. I don't always know what to do with positive feedback. "Its all about the improv man. it taught me everything I know"
As I walked back to the library to face the six more pages I needed to bullshit, I got all emotional.
Improv has truly changed my life. It has changed my life in ways teachers haven't. It ultimately has been my greatest teacher.
Thanks Viola Spolin, Keith Johnstone, and especially Comedy Sportz.
I have a lot to learn still. A lot. I just want to learn it.