blame game.

The sun was so bright and the air was actually warm yesterday. I woke up feeling happy. Happy for the first time in weeks. Waking up yesterday felt like bursting through the surface of the cold salt water after being submerged for a long time. 
But throughout the day I slowly got pulled back underneath the water. 

"Don't blame other people for your unhappiness." 

"But how can I not blame them when I am happy until they influence my day in a negative way?" 

"You have to just try to be happy regardless of what they feel." 

"That is completely fucking impossible. I'm sorry. But seriously its impossible. Other people have always affected me." 

"Why?" 

"Because I care? I don't know." 

 
Tonight might be interesting.

In the dark car before we walked into a gathering I did not want to attend I yelled, "WHY WON'T PEOPLE JUST LET ME BE HAPPY?"
She looked at me. Because she is so wise and said, "Fuck 'em."