I still love you.
But I wonder what it would be like for both of us if we weren't trapped here, in this place, with all these people, most of whom don't give a shit about us.
What if this had happened two years down the line when we were both going in different directions and we could enjoy the company and attractiveness of other people without feelings guilty and disgusting and jealous.
That is what I wish could happen now.
I wish I could leave right now so these feelings would go away.
Maybe its impossible to stay connected to a person when there are too many feelings involved.
But I don't care what she says, even if shes joking or serious, I believe in love, and know I'm going to have it. If I can believe it after feeling like my heart is being torn up every time I'm near him or he kisses me because we can't shake the habit, she can believe it.
[I'm putting on a way bigger show than anyone wishes to believe or see. I'm heartbroken. But maybe its easier not to talk about it because no one knows what to say.]
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