and the mind can play tricks on the fool who tries to use it.

I wish I could have watched the Oscars last night. 

Its stupid or whatever but things like that make me excited for all the possibilities of the world. And I'm not saying I'm going to burst out of Ashland and win Oscars, [but wait, why the hell not?] 



We lay awake at 5:17am. 

"I feel desperate and stuck and like I'm aching for something."

"Why?"

"Because, well, I don't want to poison you." 

"Poison away." 

"It'll be different for you, but being here is exhausting. I know I'm not always going to get every part, rejection is inevitable. But... I get mad watching sometimes. Like watching the show tonight. Because I know I can do it." 

"They can do it too, right? At least some of them." 

"And I know that. Yes, of course. See I'm selfish." 

"It's not selfish to want something you know you could do. It's not selfish to want chances."

"I would have traded all the shows last year for any of this years shows. I want to say beautiful words about love and not apologize for them and be able to mean them as much as I wanted. But maybe... ultimately all I want is just to be able to say those things to someone in my life and have them feel the same way. I just do not want to apologize for feeling things." 

"Then don't. Don't apologize."

"I just want to be free from here already. I want to be able to try to reach my full potential, but I feel like I can't do that here if I'm not given the chance to show other sides. Other than silly and presentational."

"I just look at you and see your talent and potential. Take it or leave it, what the hell do I know, but I see it. And I think you're going to do big things. And when you're all famous and every guy wants to be with you, because they all will want to be with you, you should find me and let me hold you one more time."

"What a simple and wonderful request."