back to business.

last night, it all came crashing down, in the best way possible.
to begin, I was faced with my uncoordinated self on display. physically and emotionally I went back to those days in that studio with a fake smile on my face and tears in my eyes. brutal. made me how I am today.
then I remained sitting in that mindset as we began my favorite part of the night. as soon as I opened my mouth some of the most honest things I've said in a long time came out. except, they weren't my words. I was Lorna [who ever the fuck that is] and I was making a connection. My scene partner had no clue what to do with it. But because of that it all became more desperate. it became more frustrating. it became even more honest.
it took this to realize how I actually felt about things.
the person who opens the doors is usually the one that shuts them.
I always shut them.
wide open yeah? yeah.

ps. found a new wish for my wishbone.
and its awesome.