I'm an inch taller. The games stop now.

the following are letters to some of the boys/lads/men that I was involved with in high school.
viewer discretion advised

Dear Orphan Shaggy,
The truth of the matter is that we got together because you played guitar and you were shy. you were wounded. You were my project. You were tall. On the surface our relationship was stupid. But deeper, probably the closer to one am it got we had something real. You were the first person I wanted to share my midnight pancakes with. You were fun to hang out with at five in the morning when you crashed on my couch because you didn't have anywhere else to go. You were my intro to high school relationships.
thanks bro,
your groupie

Dear Sincere and Earnest Kitten,
I should have stayed with you longer. You were the most sincere and the best one. [if that wasn't clear already]. You were suppose to fill a void. that was horrible for me to use you for that. in fact, knowing you now even better it may be in theory one of the worst things I have done.[and I've done a lot of bad things] But now we're friends. And you tell me that I lead you to what you want to do. That gives me too much credit. You were already headed there my darling. I want to act with you. I want to play characters that are in love so we can be in love for the first time.
fondly,
the cougar

Dear Wannabe,
You are stupid
from,
the girl with x-ray vision

Dear Man-Child,
Seeing you waste away, waste your potential use to make me hurt. I don't care anymore. Sorry. I thought you were genuine. I let you in. you didn't treat me with respect. You didn't realize that I'm worth it. That day on my picnic table was the first day of the rest of my romantic life. You taught me how to avoid the douchebags. How to avoid the re-bounders. How to be independent. How did I learn that you ask? [of course I'll answer, I was always the smarter one you just thought you were] I learned what not to do in a relationship from our time together.
peace out,
harder, better, faster,stronger...[than you]

Dearest CEO,
I have a strange feeling that the romance between us is evaporating. I could be completely wrong but I believe that it is happening as I type this. Realistically its for the best. Someone literally just reminded me that I always fall back on you. You deserve to not be my fall back anymore. If you only really knew all you deserved you would have mountains worth of confidence. The confidence you should have. I'm still halfway down for our agreement but we'll see. I'm probably not down. and I don't think you will be.
always,
your business partner

Dear Plastic Bag,
I liked the way we looked together. That's how it began. it turned into more. You were the first person that I didn't mind getting up early for. also, you were the person I liked driving around with most even though most of the time I didn't like your music. I am sorry for jerking you around. I'm also sorry for hating you secretly. Your awkwardness made my skin crawl but now I understand it. I wonder how things would have been if I had chosen differently at the end of last summer. Different. Very Different. I use to regret it. I don't anymore.
friendly,
formally suffocated


Dear William Miller,
You made me feel good about myself. Too good. It was easy. Too easy? perhaps. Our late night talks were always the best part of my day. there was always a feeling of completely and utter content when I would fall asleep. It felt like too much of a difference. I was filling out college applications when I realized it. Now you are the little brother that I always wanted and should have recognized from the beginning. It would have been incest.
There will be a Morocco [someday],
yours,
Penny Lane.

Dear Forgiving,
Our relationship consists of me doing really stupid things and you somehow always forgiving me. I don't get it. And then you fall for me again. I still haven't figured us out. I'm just sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know I'm sorry starts meaning less the more someone says it. We're almosts. True almosts. not just in our relationship but with everything. You are capable of so much. Hope I'm there to witness those things. Maybe just not from the seat you wish I was watching from. you always say it'll never be the same again but then its always better than before.
love always,
Ms. Fixit

Bro,
Bro ya later...
-Bro